1.3 Personality, Values, and Attitude Affect Our Human Relations
Learning Objectives
Define personality and attitudes.
Explain how your attitude and personality has an effect in the workplace.
What Determines Our Personality?
Our personalityA set of traits that can explain or predict a person’s behavior in a variety of situations. is defined as a set of traits that can explain or predict a person’s behavior in a variety of situations. In other words, personality is a set of characteristics that reflect the way we think and act in a given situation. Because of this, our personality has a lot to do with how we relate to one another at work. How we think, what we feel, and our normal behavior characterize what our colleagues come to expect of us, both in behavior and the expectation of their interactions with us. For example, let’s suppose at work you are known for being on time but suddenly start showing up late daily. This directly conflicts with your personality—that is, the fact that you are conscientious. As a result, coworkers might start to believe something is wrong. On the other hand, if you did not have this characteristic, it might not be as surprising or noteworthy. Likewise, if your normally even-tempered supervisor yells at you for something minor, you may believe there is something more to their anger since this isn’t a normal personality trait and you also may have a more difficult time handling the situation since you didn’t expect it. When we come to expect someone to act a certain way, we learn to interact with them based on their personality. This goes both ways, and people learn to interact with us based on our personality. When we behave differently than our normal personality traits, people may take time to adjust to the situation.
Figure 1.2 Personality
Source: Laura Portolese
Long Description
The left circle is labeled “Nurture factors” (past experiences, religion, family values, societal influence, upbringing), the middle is “Personality,” and the right is “Nature Factors” (qualities one is born with).
Personality also affects our ability to interact with others, which can impact our career success. In a study by Sutin and Costa, it was found that the personality characteristic of neuroticism (a tendency to experience negative emotional states) had more effect than any personality characteristic on determining future career success. In other words, people with positive and hopeful personalities tend to be rewarded through career success later in life.
Although there is debate between whether or not our personalities are inherent when we are born (nature) versus the way we grew up (nurture), most researchers agree that personality is usually a result of both nature and our environmental/education experiences (refer to Figure 1.2). For example, you have probably heard someone say, “She acts just like her mother.” She likely behaves that way because she was born with some of her mother’s traits, and because she learned some of the behaviors her mother passed to her while growing up.
Another example might be someone who grows up in a family that cooks a lot—chances are, the person will probably learn to cook and focus on that within their own family. This could also have the opposite effect, in that the person is tired of always eating at home and ends up eating out a lot. These environmental and educational experiences can create positive or negative associations, which results in how we feel about any situation that occurs in our lives.
Personality Tests
There are many types of “tests” to help determine personality. In fact, some organizations use personality tests as a way to determine if a person is a good fit for their organization. Let’s talk about some of these personality tests next.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) may be one of the most popular tests to determine personality. The MBTI focuses on several main characteristics. First, preference for introversion (I) or extroversion (E). The second part of the test determines if there is a preference to focus on basic information or if a person takes in information and then adds meaning to it. This is called sensing (S) or intuition (N). Third, the test focuses on how a person prefers to make decisions. Does someone prefer to look at logic first, or people and circumstances first? This is called thinking (T) or feeling (F). Finally, the MBTI looks at whether or not someone likes to get things decided, or stay open to new information. This is called judging (J) or perceiving (P). MBTI then combines each of these to give a person a four letter personality type. For example, an Extroversion, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging person would be a ESFJ. The MBTI then states that there are certain characteristics shared with all persons of this type.
What Is Your MBTI?
Take this quiz (note, you may need to sign up to receive the free results).
Another popular personality test is the DISC profile. The DISC profile looks at four main personalty traits: Dominance (D), Influence (I), Steadiness (S), and Conscientiousness (C). Dominance refers to the tendency of a person to focus on results and self-confidence. Influence refers to the ability to handle and influence relationships. Steadiness refers to the extent of a person’s focus on relationships and cooperation. Finally, conscientiousness refers to a person’s emphasis on quality, accuracy, and expertise.
What Is Your DISC Profile?
Take this quiz to determine your DISC profile (note, you may need to sign up to receive the free results).
Figure 1.3 The Four Styles of DISC
Sources: Laura Portolese, data from PeopleKeys, https://peoplekeys.com/about-disc-2/
Long Description
Four squares represent the four styles of DISC. The boxes read as follows:
• Dominance: This trait relates to assertiveness, power, and control-related personality traits. Someone who registers high in this category could be described as decisive, direct, argumentative, a problem solver, and a risk taker.
• Influence: This trait relates to communication and sociability-related traits. Someone who registers high in this category could be described as outgoing, enthusiastic, optimistic, charismatic, persuasive, impulsive, and emotional.
• Steady: This trait relates to thoughtfulness, patience, and stability-related traits. Someone who registers in this category could be described as predictable, an excellent listener, a team player, friendly, generous, supportive, and understanding.
• Conscientious: This trait relates to structure and organization. Someone who registers high in this category could be described as accurate, systematic, slower paced, task-oriented, a perfectionist, and analytical.
There are many other types of personality tests. One thing to keep in mind about personality tests is their reliability. There is extensive research stating that personality tests are not reliable; however, it can serve as a good starting point to understanding your personality, reactions, and the personality of others. Next, we will address personal values, which are an important part of personality.
Values
Our values help determine our personality. Our valuesThe things we find most important to us. are those things we find most important to us. For example, if you value calmness and peace, your personality would show this in many possible ways. You might prefer to have a few close friends and avoid going to a club on Saturday nights. You might choose a less stressful career path, and you might find it challenging to work in a place where frequent conflict occurs.
We often find ourselves in situations where our values do not coincide with someone we are working with. For example, if Alison’s main value is connection, this may come out in a warm communication style with coworkers and an interest in their personal lives. Imagine that Alison works with Chen, whose core value is efficiency. Because of Chen’s focus, he may find it a waste of time to make small talk with colleagues. When Alison approaches Chen and asks about his weekend, she may feel offended or upset when he brushes her off to ask about the project they are working on together. She feels like a connection wasn’t made, and he feels like she isn’t efficient. Understanding our own values as well as the values of others can greatly help us become better communicators.
Examples of Values
Visit this link and look over the list of common personal values on the second page and beyond. What are your top five values? How do you think this affects your personality?
What About Our Attitudes?
Our attitudesFavorable or unfavorable feelings toward people, things, or situations. are favorable or unfavorable opinions toward people, things, or situations. Many things affect our attitudes, including the environment we were brought up in and our individual experiences. Our personalities and values play a large role in our attitudes as well. For example, many people may have attitudes toward politics that are similar to their parents, but their attitudes may change as they gain more experiences. If someone has a bad experience around the ocean, they may develop a negative attitude around beach activities. However, if that person has a memorable experience seeing sea lions at the beach, for example, then they may change their opinion about the ocean. Likewise, someone may have loved the ocean, but if they have a scary experience, such as nearly drowning, they may change their attitude.
The important thing to remember about attitudes is that they can change over time, but usually some sort of positive experience needs to occur for our attitudes to change dramatically for the better. We also have control of our attitude in our thoughts, and if we constantly stream negative thoughts in our own minds, it is likely we may become a negative person.
In a workplace environment, it is obvious that attitude is important. Someone’s personality may be cheerful and upbeat. These are the prized employees because they help bring positive perspective to the workplace. Likewise, someone with a negative attitude is usually someone that most people prefer not to work with. The problem with a negative attitude is that it has a devastating effect on everyone else. Have you ever felt really happy after a great day and when you arrived home, your roommate was in a terrible mood because of their bad day? In this situation, you can almost feel yourself deflating! This is why having a positive attitude is a key component to having good human relations at work and in our personal lives.
But how do we change a negative attitude? Because a negative attitude can come from many sources, there are also many sources that can help us improve our attitude.
Changing Your Attitude
On the Motivation123 website, they describe the three things to consider when trying to change your attitude.
Reams are written about improving your attitude; not so when it comes to defining that thing you’re trying to improve. In this checklist, we’re going to fix that.
Though there are many ways to define attitude, I find the three checkpoints below to be the most helpful. They make it clear not only what your attitude is made of but also how it affects what you do.
How You Enter
Before heading down South for a vacation, I expected a relaxing and enjoyable time. This is the first piece of your attitude: it is what you expect before something happens.
For me, I expected good things. Someone with a more negative bent—at least in relation to traveling—would predict rough times ahead.
How You Live through It
The second piece of your attitude is the way in which you gauge progress. Do you notice what is going wrong? Going well? Somewhere in between?
I went to dinner the other night with a few friends. I’m always on the lookout for stories to use on the site, so when they started to comment on the place, I was drawn in. One friend noticed how noisy the restaurant was, how grumpy the waiter seemed, and how bad the food tasted.
On the heels of this cheery testimonial, the friend sitting next to me said she loved the atmosphere, the style of the tables, and her dinner. Two attitudes looking for very different things.
How You Exit
The last role your attitude plays happens at the end of a situation or experience. At this point, your attitude affects the way you sum things up.
I was watching a competition-based reality show the other night and, when two people were sent home, they were given the chance to talk to the camera one last time.
They were asked what they would take away from the experience. The first reflected on the friendships he had made and the good times he had had. The second was angry and vengeful. To her, the experience was a waste of time. Attitude strikes again.
As many sources point out, our attitude is ultimately about how we set our expectations; how we handle the situation when our expectations are not met; and finally, how we sum up an experience, person, or situation. When we focus on improving our attitude on a daily basis, we get used to thinking positively and our entire personality can change. Consider the COVID-19 crisis of 2020. While this situation was challenging for most, trying to see the positive, such as, “I am able to spend more time at home with my dogs,” made it easier to handle quarantine and other negative aspects associated with the pandemic. It goes without saying that employers prefer to hire and promote someone with a positive attitude as opposed to a negative one. Other tips for improving attitude include the following:
When you wake up in the morning, decide you are going to have a good day! Ultimately, it is your choice how you handle setbacks.
Be conscious of your negative thoughts, and try to avoid negative thinking.
Spend time with positive people.
Spend time in a comfortable physical environment, such as a work space or office space you feel comfortable in.
Self-Assessment: What’s My Attitude?
People would describe me as unhappy.
True
False
I complain right away if there is something I don’t like.
True
False
Being positive most of the time is far too unrealistic.
True
False
If I have a bad morning, the rest of my day is sure to be ruined.
True
False
I tend to think more about my weak points than my strong points.
True
False
I don’t give out compliments because I don’t want someone to get a big ego.
True
False
In the past two weeks, I have called myself depressed.
True
False
I worry too much about things I can’t control.
True
False
It takes a lot to make me happy.
True
False
When I experience a failure, I usually just stop trying.
True
False
Now, count the number of true and false answers. The more false answers you have, the better attitude you tend to have. If you have many true answers, what are some ways to help yourself change to a more positive attitude?
When considering our personality, values, and attitudes, we can begin to get the bigger picture of who we are and how our experiences affect how we behave at work and in our personal lives. It is a good idea to reflect often on what aspects of our personality are working well and which we might like to change. With self-awareness (discussed further in Chapter 2 “Be Your Best Self”), we can make changes that eventually result in better human relations.
Why Human Relations?
Our personality traits, attitude, and self-esteem have everything to do with human relations. When you are planting a vegetable garden, you wouldn’t fill the new garden with old soil that no longer has nutrients in it. Doing this will result in your plants not growing as large as they can, or could even result in them not growing at all. If we look at our human relations ability, the same idea applies. Personality, attitude, and self-esteem comprise the nutrient-rich soil required for our human relations skills to grow. Our personality is how we see the world, either positive and full of hope or negative and full of despair. Without a positive attitude, it can be difficult to relate to others—because they may not want to be around us! Likewise, having a positive self-image can give us the confidence to nurture relationships, resulting in positive human relations as well. Just like the garden that needs soils rich in nutrients, our human relations skills are the same. To make our human relations skills grow, we need to look at our underlying personality characteristics, attitudes, and self-esteem that could be helping—or hindering—our ability to relate to others.
Key Takeaways
Personality is defined as a set of traits that predict and explain a person’s behavior. Values are closely interwoven into personality, as our values often define our traits.
There are many personality tests to help determine the type of person you are. The MBTI and DISC profiles are just two of many examples you can use as a starting point for understanding your personality.
Our personality can help define our attitudes toward specific things, situations, or people. Most people prefer to work with people who have a positive attitude.
We can improve our attitude by waking up and believing that the day is going to be great. We can also keep aware of our negative thoughts or those things that may prevent us from having a good day. Spending time with positive people can help improve our own attitude as well.
Exercises
Visit colorcode.com. Find the section that allows you to take the personality test for free, take the test, and then review the results. What color are you? How does this impact how you relate to others either at school or at work?
The Big Five refers to a popular personality test. Visit Psych Central’s website, take the free test, then analyze your results. What is correct? What is not?
After reviewing the list of common personal values found at the link in the “Examples of Values” exercise, which five are most important to you? Connect two to three personality traits you possess as a result of these values. For example, if you value practicality you might see this manifested through the importance placed on goods purchased or the type of wardrobe you have.
In two or three paragraphs, discuss your attitude and name four specific strategies you will use to improve your attitude.